Find a Tribe. What a statement. After my last post it’s been hard to ignore the confirmations that the Lord is sending me. Throughout my work meeting, Jim Roman, my boss indicated his Coach and Pastor and Mentor all suggested to him to “Find a Tribe”.
Cinderella Released has been a vital ministry that has poured into me for the past 10 years. Marlene is a gifted spiritual leader and a dear friend. Not only through the loss of my sister, but through the rise and fall of my convictions to start up a non-profit of my own doing. I’m no longer desiring to reinvent the wheel.
Although my heart is in 5 places at once. Family, Adoption, Abolishing Human Trafficking, Support Groups, with a desire for Post Care. The Lord has been placing before me a platter of purpose for my life for sometime. As a Daughter of the King, First Mom, Wife and as a Second Mom. All of which are portions of my mission.
Imagine standing before 150 adoptive moms and foster moms, wanting to provide them support and the only way I could relate was through being a second mom to my bonus kids. Imagine the lack of confidence I had when directed to ask questions pertaining to how a woman as I, labeled as “Birth Mom” might be received. Fear and lack of confidence shivered down my spine. I ran. I literally got in my car and drove off. Imagine like a stubborn fearful child, I told the Lord. NO. I can’t do this. I cried….
As a child, my mother was so very graphic. She often explained family as a wheel of a bicycle. Each member of the wheel must be in exemplary shape, not bent, flat, or shattered for the wheel to roll smoothly, or drive the bicycle at all. This imagery, I have clung to throughout my life. As I battle perfectionism. I can be found often kneeling on my living room floor in tears, as I pray and worship. It is only….only in these moment of pressing that the Lord reveals to me His Promises, and Mercy. As I surrender to him my perfectionism, anger, fear and grief.
Having been spoken of recently as a Mentor, been asked to record video’s for First Mothers struggling with guilt, through and after placement, being invited to join the Board of Bethany Christian Services, and having been Certified as an Abolitionist Against Human Trafficking through United Abolitionist. I am being brought to my knees once again.
As a wife, mother, first mom/birth mom, daughter, sister, aunt, and friend. I am the least of these. I accept my lack of perfection, as it is only the Spirit of the Lord in me that is perfect. I am but a vessel, a lamp. As the Lord’s Spirit (Oil), is all that can burn bright into dark places. Dark places in my marriage, in my relationships with my children, my birth daughter and her forever families lives, my parents lives, my brother and his wife and my nephews lives, and in the lives of my friends as associates. HIS WILL BE DONE.
Humbly, I ask for continuous prayer through this season of relinquishment. Worship with me as the Lord is Contending for my sight, my breath and my life, and closest to me. Kneel with me as I prayerfully surrender, my fears, perfectionism, anger and grief.
Exodus 27: 20 & 21
“Command the Israelites to bring you clear oil of pressed olives for the light so that the lamps may be kept burning. 21 In the tent of meeting, outside the curtain that shields the ark of the covenant law, Aaron and his sons are to keep the lamps burning before the Lord from evening till morning. This is to be a lasting ordinance among the Israelites for the generations to come.”
As the Lord guides me through this journey, please let me know how you have been encouraged or how I can be a resource to you. Through stewardship of time, talents, treasure and trust.
“Family Changes Everything”