Having been practicing more social distancing, and homeschooling our children has already been a rich experience. I’m continuously being reminded of my commitments. Kids have a way of either keeping us accountable to what we say or making us feel like we have to follow through with our word least they believe we aren’t truly caring for them.
I find myself wondering if that’s a general parental perception or if our children really keep record of all the things we say in an attempt to keep us accountable and judge our parenting style?
The perspective of my children never ceases to amaze me. I do my best to not assume what they think. I find the moment I start assuming they think like me is the moment that I am assuming they are my equal maturity wise.
Matthew 18:2-4 New International Version (NIV)
2 He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. 3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
As a parent, I catch myself assuming that its my responsibility to train my children to think like me. Matthew 18 states the contrary. I am reminded that we must change and BECOME like little children to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
I was given a gift that stated “I CANT ADULT TODAY” this potato chip clip has been a simple reminder for me to learn from my children. As we sat together and read the story of Samson, my nephews, and my sons taught me. Little do they know that I learn soo much from them.
Through reading line by line. And asking them questions to see what they imagine each line means. While asking them questions relating to how I imagine each line meaning, I found that my thoughts were much to complex. Faith like a child is simple. We ADULTS over complicate it.
Kids are simple.
Perhaps Samson was where Trichotillomania (clinical hair pulling syndrome) came from. Feeling stressed? Feeling the pressure? Our kids do to! When we aren’t psychologically present we A-dult(s) ( BTW dult means dunce ie. Adult= Astupid) Yesterday started off with a 2:30 AM migraine. My loving husband took one for the team, incidentally treating me with my PMDD medicine rather than my migraine medication. FYI I tend to pretty indecisive when in pain and I grumble a lot.
Painfully so, my husband was willing to start the day with our 5! Getting them seated in place and virtual classes started while juggling his E-commerce work as he yesterday was his first day on the job as my co-worker juggling. He patiently allowed me to rest until the Spirit led him to send a “SAVE ME” text.
All things said, my challenges had only begun. Having to juggle a believed dyslexic 4th grader and fielding his multiple questions and need to have someone read and explain each line detail to him, along with a defiant and oppositional 1st grader, along with a 3 year old toddler. By 10am I had already called the therapists office to request tele-medicine for counseling for one, and am still contemplating calling one to schedule for myself. My husband is doing his best to be a buffer, although we have different parent styles, he remains calm. While I on the other hand want to cry……
As I sit an watch these little gifts with their own talents and abilities. I can’t help but recall when I was homeschooled throughout my life learned to feel inadequate in everyway because I didn’t understand or feel my mom cared about my frustrations and only felt I needed to perform better. The idea of having to perform better still haunts me. As if my faith isn’t enough but my works need to be better.
We all came to our knees. Our children taught me!!!!! As they voiced what they imagined Samson to be doing as he was imprisoned by the Philistines. Since knowing our HEART is a “most important muscle” they taught me that they imagined Samson was a long haired man. They weren’t easily distracted by Delilah. They rushed past her existence and her after quickly noticing her mean scowl. They explained they imagined Samson working out in jail.
I admit my scowl is difficult to hid. Instead I am resorting to tears. I imagine that has got to be better than distracting my children like Delilah did Samson.
I found myself asking my children, what was he working out? (as my inquiring mind wanted to learn from their child faith).
In unison, all our boys exclaimed ” HIS HEARTTTTT” I was at that moment humbled. I took a deep breath and realized what a dunce I was. Of course we ADULTS see things from a complex view. My head and my heart felt like they were at war.
Silently, I prayed…..Was that a glimpse of the jail I’m in, not just quarantine, I found myself asking the Lord in a silent prayer to heal my hurts from my past, and help me to put off the ways I learned as a child that did not align with His definition of being Caring, Teaching, or Nurturing.
I worshiped and praised the Lord for reveling to me such simplicity of faith as our boys taught me. After all they agreed that’s why his hair grew back because he worked out his HEART MUSCLE FIRST!
Looking forward to these walls being torn down, so that the Great and Mighty Builder and restructure my life and perceptions of and from my past.